This, not that

on eco-friendly kid birthday parties

Want to guess our favorite thing to see on a birthday party invite?

Is it…

A. Cupcakes will be served!

B. Feel free to drop off your kid!

C. Donuts and coffee for the grown-ups…

D. No gifts, please!

If you guessed D., then you are correct! My number one favorite thing about the recent invites we’ve had (this is Belle writing, not Bea) is not having to worry about buying a birthday gift for a party. This might make me sound like a wet blanket for children’s joy, or maybe a stingy person, but let’s think about it… how often do we forget, and then wind up ordering something fast (from Amazon?)? How well do you know your kids’ friends anyway? We love books as gifts, but how do you know which books your kids’ friends already have?

We’re excited for Harriet’s first birthday picnic-with-friends later this month, and it appears that she has forty friends in her preschool class (that can’t be true… right?). A mom of one of these dear friends messaged me, “What does Harriet like?” and I said, “Random things she finds on the ground.” Which is true!

Case in point, behold Harriet’s phone:

She loves this thing. I appears to be a plastic battery door. It came from the playground at her school and she has made many calls on it.

And though it’s plastic, it’s not new plastic… and, as we’ve written before, 90% of kids’ toys are made of plastic! They also (very often) come encased in plastic. This is harmful to the Earth, bad for our waterways, and maybe even harmful to our health. I’m not saying Harriet doesn’t have toys or that I only let her play with trash she collects from playgrounds. What I’m trying to say is that she has many toys, and that she also is just as likely to play with… whatever that is (above).

So, how do you host a more eco-friendly, less-stressful birthday party? Having been to a few, here are some of my favorite tips:

1. Just write on the invitation “No gifts, please!” When someone asks what they can bring, just say, “The best present is seeing your kid!” Which is true—what kids really want to do is run around with their friends. And eat cupcakes.

2. Some families have donation drives for good causes, like book drives for local kid-centered charities. This seems like a nice thing, and I’m always happy to do this.

3. I love the idea of a card-making station! Richard and Harriet saw this at one of Harriet’s friends’ parties, and we’re going to use the same idea. Just spread out some paper, markers, stickers, whatever you have, so that kids can make a quick card for their friend!

4. Another friend of Harriet’s did a book exchange, where every kid brought in a used book to exchange with someone else.

Of course, if someone did bring a gift, we’d thank them and be gracious! But what I’m saying is, maybe this should be the norm? No gifts, please!

Other eco-friendly ideas:

1. Use compostable or reusable cutlery, if you need it, and compostable plates. Harriet is having a “Princess Picnic” so I am going to try to find a lot of tea cups at thrift stores for our sparkling juice. (As Joy pointed out, the great thing about buying something at a thrift store is: you can donate it back!)

2. Don’t go nuts with the balloons! Maybe do locally grown flowers instead.

3. No need for party favors! We are going to make hats and crowns (I think), and kids can take those home. For Bea’s birthday, we sent guests home with plant babies.

4. In my memory, as a kid, the most fun times at parties happened when we did things like play tag and hide-and-seek. So we’re going to do that at Harriet’s party. And have a great time!

Two other cool things to tell you about:

I’m teaching a workshop on nonfiction writing at the North Carolina Writers’ Network Conference on April 23. The theme is “Writing with urgency,” and I hope to help the writers in my class develop practices that will help them document and produce work that has a sense of immediacy and relevance. You can take this class online or in-person, and sign-up is here. Deadline to register is today!

I also published a new essay, “Unreliable Narrators.” (about the start of the Frog Trouble Times, among other things) in the wonderful magazine Ecotone, and you can read it by clicking here.

Happy Friday, Frog Troublers! Any birthday party tips?

And do you agree about kid party gifts—or do you think we’re missing something here? Curious to know what you think.