Little by little

scrubbing hate from a tree, talking to kids about war

Earlier this week, on an unseasonably warm afternoon, the girls and I hiked down to our favorite Haw River swim spot, where a tall, double-trunk oak leans over a narrow, sandy beach. There’s a rope swing, interesting rock formations, and a current beaver project to build what we think may be a lodge behind a large, storm-downed tree. We weren’t there to swim (sorry, Harriet!), but to scrub graffiti from the tree that holds the rope swing.

Bea and I had noticed the graffiti just days earlier, when we were checking out the beaver activity. It took my breath—a swastika, spray-painted in red directly onto the tree trunk. “What?!” Bea exclaimed. “Who did this?”

I had no idea, of course, and listened as she imagined terrible, Greek-goddess-inflicted punishments for the vandals. She knows a little about World War II and the Holocaust, mostly from books where it’s in the background, like Judy Blume’s Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself. (We haven’t read The Diary of a Young Girl yet, but based on Bea’s other readings, I think she’s ready.)

Last summer another swastika had appeared on the concrete bridge supports you pass on the path to the river, similarly shocking and outrageous. We talked with Bea about hateful signs and symbols (including the Confederate flag), and then Richard painted over it. But this graffiti was on a tree, which is a little more complicated. To turn it into an animal image, as others have done in cities, seemed like it might invite more graffiti, and also could damage the tree.

Though it’s technically on private land, this swim spot has become a kind of a community park: a kayak launch, picnic area, fishing spot, and multicultural hang-out beach used by a lot of people in our area, including college-age kids as well as Spanish-speaking immigrants who, like us, enjoy being outdoors with their families. We sometimes run into neighbors there, or other kids who splash and play with Bea and Harriet. Once, the girls and I saw a man in an inner tube cradling a baby goat. Though online guidance suggests reporting swastikas to local police—painting this symbol is a federal hate crime—we don’t want police patrolling this place. We just wanted the hateful symbol gone.

One of our neighbors suggested using a wire brush to scrub away the paint without damaging the bark, so we took our grill brush with us to tackle the sign. Harriet collected treasures—rocks and clamshells—and lined them up on a shelf made by the tree’s roots while Bea and I took turns scrubbing.

At first it seemed like we weren’t getting anywhere, but little by little the red paint flaked away, revealing the slightly lighter-brown bark underneath. Richard had offered to take care of this, like he had with the bridge graffiti, but Bea and I wanted to help this time—it felt good to watch the swastika disappearing under our brush. Maybe especially this week, with ominous news of a far-away war in the background and the threats to democracy all around us.

After a while, we saw that it was getting dark and we needed to head home. Harriet had waded into the shallow part of the river and had mud in her boots. We stepped back to survey our work. “But it’s not done,” Bea said. “There’s still a little paint.”

“We’ll come back,” I told her. “It’s a process.”

And we did, yesterday—but the river was so high from recent rains that it swallowed the tree’s roots and the beach. We picked up trash instead, and will go back when the water recedes.

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Many people have shared ways to help Ukraine, as well as how to talk to your kids about it. This New York Times article is focused on talking to teens and preteens, but for younger kids, I thought this PBS article, with links to recommended books about refugees, was helpful.

I think the other best thing we can do right now is focus on securing our own democracy, which is under attack in places like Texas and Florida, and indeed in our home state of North Carolina. It’s time to support pro-voting rights candidates up for election in 2022: U.S. senate candidates like Cheri Beasley, and state house candidates like Ricky Hurtado. You can also volunteer for grassroots organizations that support voting rights and voter education. In NC, we like Down Home, Neighbors on Call, and County to County, and plan to start canvassing soon—a great way to meet people and get involved. We’ll report back—and we’d love to know, how are you staying hopeful and engaged?

Stay safe, Frog Troublers! See you Tuesday with a report about our local, PTA-supporting thrift shop and a spirit week favorite-book-character costume we put together for less than four dollars.